I was a bit flippant tonight as I defended the virtues of the single life.
I should’ve told you the truth – that single is okay, single is fine, but single is nothing compared to how happy I am with you.
I’m still frightened by all this. Forgive me. It’s been a long time since I opened my heart to someone who treats it with the care it deserves.
It’s been even longer since I was able to speak so honestly with a man about my fears without any sort of judgment or conflict. You really don’t know how special you are. It’s rare to find a human who is unquestionably kind through and through.
If I have my way, I’ll never be single again.
That’s what I really want to say to you.
I know we’re in the honeymoon stage. I know it won’t always be simple. I know that relationships are difficult no matter how much two people care for each other.
But for the first time, I’m in a functional partnership with an adult. I can tell you absolutely anything – I know this because I basically have. You accept it all without condition. We talk and I find myself easily saying things I’ve never spoken out loud before. Not only do you listen, you aren’t bothered in the least. You express yourself and you aren’t afraid to tell me how you feel.
You are literally everything I’ve wanted that I thought couldn’t possibly exist.
I was lonely for so long. Sure, single was necessary. I had to grow, to change and work through the painful truths of my past. It was all preparation so I could be ready for love when it found me. All that I ever wanted was to find that person who made me understand why it never worked out with anyone before.
That all sounds well and good, but I don’t know that I believed it could happen. Every time I let myself think it might, I met a rude awakening.
Then you came along and suddenly, quietly, simply … you were … it. I tried not to dive in too fast, because I’ve made that mistake before. I wasn’t fooling anyone. No other man held a moment of my interest from the moment I met you.
You gently claimed me without any pretense or assumptions. You wanted me, and I wanted you back, and incredibly that was enough. It is enough.
Now I understand it all.
If literally nothing else comes of this period in my life, I won’t care. I am here because I needed to find you. The universe brought us together. If that sounds crazy, so be it. I’m not concerned with what anyone else thinks of our happiness because I know in my gut that it’s the real deal. You are lovely, and I’m not letting you go.
The truth is that I don’t miss being single. Not one bit.
I’ve waited for you my whole life, and now you’re here. And I’m stunned with gratitude.
I will never, ever take you for granted.
(Originally published on Thought Catalog)