I too have spent endless hours in search of some external way to fill up what's missing inside.
It would be a wonderful friendship, if it wasn’t for the inconvenient truth that I’m still in love with you.
It seems obscene that the human body is capable of producing so much grief without shriveling up completely to grant some sort of ending release.
Understand her history. Understand her past. Take the time to get to know why she operates the way that she does. Then you will see the many hurts, the disappointments, the reasons that she blocked herself off and learned to only trust herself.