I too have spent endless hours in search of some external way to fill up what's missing inside.
In the end, all you have is yourself. You are not going to let yourself shrink to fit the box that the world assigns you. There is no box, no container expansive enough to hold in the strength that you own.
My brand of strength is nothing more than a coping mechanism, a way to survive. I rise above the sadness by smothering it with shame, but it’s always there, growing with every disappointment and heartbreak.
Now I spend each day just trying to make it to the next, one after the other, until I finally reach the point where everything hurts a little less. I would give anything to stop missing you.
There is nothing more painful than looking at the person you love beyond what you thought possible and knowing that you cannot make them stay.