If you want to get what you merit from a partnership, you must first understand your own worth as a person. Once you come into your own as a woman and you’re comfortable asking for what you need, you no longer accept less. You refuse to settle and you part ways with anyone who does not give you exactly what you deserve. If you’ve grown into your own heart and soul, this is what you expect to receive in your next relationship:
- Decency. This should go without saying, but it often doesn’t. You put up with so much indecent behavior in the past that you finally said, enough. You are a living, breathing, feeling human being who treats others well. You deserve the same in return, but often your kindness is treated as weakness. No longer do you allow anyone to trample your heart. You settle for nothing less than a genuine, conscious partner.
- Respect. Your relationships that lacked the crucial element of mutual respect always failed. They’re bound to do so – a vibrant, dynamic woman such as yourself has high standards when it comes to such issues. You no longer sell yourself short because you are well aware that you can do better. If your partner does not show you the utmost respect in return for that which you give, you won’t hang around.
- Consideration. In addition to respect, you demand consideration from your lover. The two should go hand in hand, but that’s not always the case. You’re tired of people who claim to care for you only to ignore your most basic needs. You can’t change those who behave this way – but you can and you will walk away.
- Attention. This by no means indicates that you are clingy. You do not need someone who talks to you incessantly all day long or compliments you excessively. In actuality, you find such behavior suspect – and you are not a child who needs reinforcement, but an independent woman with a full and busy life. What you require is quality focus during time spent together and attention to detail, and you deserve both.
- Kindness. Once upon a time, perhaps you did not believe that you deserved kindness. You never experienced it or understood that you are worthy and valuable. Now you require a partner who not only treats you with the utmost compassion but also operates with total kindness towards the world around them.
- Honesty. Lies or even omissions of the truth ruin countless relationships. You refuse to stand among the ranks of those unfortunate souls, and you demand complete transparency in return for the honesty you so bravely put forth on a daily basis. A partner who is your equal will provide it with no questions asked.
- Vulnerability. You could hide your feelings behind a mask or shield your heart with an impenetrable plate of emotional armor. So many do. It’s a testament to your maturity and commitment to growth that you do not. No, you spread your soul wide open to those you care for, and you know you are worth that very same openness from your love.
- Humor. You’re well aware that relationships without laughter are doomed from the start. You greatly value humor as an essential element of a full and healthy life, so you definitely require compatibility in this area from whoever you delegate as your special person. You won’t settle for less than someone who cracks you up on a daily basis.
- Understanding. You’re a beautiful, complicated being, and that’s what makes you unique. You know that you deserve the kind of person who not only listens to you but strives to get to the very core of who you are. With patience and care, the two of you can peel away the layers of each other’s intricacy together.
- Lightness. Relationships can get heavy – you know this as well as anyone. It is important to keep the joy and prevent darkness from taking over when situations get tough. You know that you need a true partner who can function alongside you to keep the worst of times from becoming unbearable. You are worthy of someone who makes an effort to maintain balance.
- Gravity. On the converse side, you also require someone who gives your heartaches the weight and importance they deserve. You’ve dealt with partners in the past who belittled your struggles or never quite understood you. Now you refuse to settle for anyone unwilling to help you walk through the shadows and come out safe on the other side.
- Fire. You’ve had poor chemistry and bad sex – honestly, you’ve probably had a lot of them. You recognize that you are worthy of a partnership with an inherent physical connection so deep and undeniable that it brightens everything else in your life with its glow. Because you know that you want the rawest passion possible, you opt out of anything that gives you less.
- Communication. It’s the cornerstone of a healthy love story and you’re done dealing with anyone who doesn’t understand how to engage you in mature, truthful dialogue. You deserve the best relationship you can achieve and a partner whose communication style doesn’t vibe with yours is the wrong match.
- Compromise. No one loves compromising, but as a mature adult, you understand that it has to be done in order to keep love healthy and functioning. You have enough life experience that you can now spot selfishness immediately. You simply won’t tolerate it.
- Synchronicity. There’s a certain something that you cannot describe, but you know it when you feel it. You’ve been through all types of failures and missteps as you’ve grown. Sometimes it takes truly knowing who you are and what you want in order to find the right match. You will not settle for anything less than that special ease that happens when physical, mental and emotional chemistry align. That’s when you know you’ve met your true equal.
(Also published on ThoughtCatalog.com)